Fade to Grey

Hey Mr Pelican

why the grey feet?

It looks like you're wearing cheap shoes

that vanish on concrete.

The Great Nifty Mable

Let me tell you a fable

about a charismatic rat

known as Nifty Mable

Nifty had a cat.

Yes! A cat as a pet.

Her name was Kit

and she hasn't bit her yet.

Kit keeps undesirables

mostly other rats at bay

For Nifty's unlike other rats,

she's not considered prey.

You see, her mother was a blue Burmese

whose eyes were not so keen

And when she bore a litter of eight

Nifty snuck right in between

She was picked-on by her siblings,

they'd mock her skinny tail.

Her mother fed her twice as much

so she wouldn't be so frail.

Nifty grew to be a scholar, a wordsmith, and a wiz

She lectured cats from around the world

on the meaning of being is.

Why we are here and what our purpose?

Is it simply to chase and catch?

Many embrace her poignant theories,

but the dull still hiss and scratch.

Cats have declared their prophet

and her name is Nifty Mable,

her sidekick Kit leads the enlightened flock

all devout and willing and able.

Nifty dreams of the day, cats and rats

will reside in a world of peace

But alas, there are zones on either side

where the carnage may never cease.

Bad Hair Day

Dear hairstylist,

I am not happy with my hair.

I meant to tell you so - I swear,

but after three long hours in that chair

I couldn't wait to get the hell out of there.

I think you need to be aware

that while we smile, that vacant stare

indicates complete despair

why we're powerless to share

might have something to do with the way you wave those scissors in the air

it's so unfair

My next appointment is...elsewhere!

I just pray they can repair

this eighy-five dollar nightmare,

These days good stylists are so rare

You can't afford not to care

I'll tell all my friends to beware

I'll tell 'em you've got no flair, for hair!

Extended Family

She's made a voodoo doll

of her mother-in-law

but instead of poking it with pins,

she makes it a little fatter and a little uglier

every day.

So far,

it's working like a charm.

May Afternoon

They caught a water taxi to Watsons Bay

Where the gods turn up the sun.

On lit rocks like lizards they lay

sipping wine and nibbling cheese maturely,

waving shyly to smiling ferries fading in glint.

Fish-flavoured breezes carry laughter

from beer-infused dawdlers

lingering well past their lunch hour at Doyles.

In the early afternoon,

they stroll back to a shady room

and make love to REM,

surprisingly.

Premier Baiser

She's never kissed the same boy twice

She never met a boy

she wanted to kiss

more than once

Bumblebee

Always in haste
Never resting for the dreary or the dull
To lure the bumblebee, pray your colours are mostly magnificent
for even then her pause is brief
Yet long enough to gather from the yields of your heart
With no hive to unburden her heavy harvest
She flies away

The Bloody Hands of Time

You have the blood of billions

on your hands.

But you get away with it,

every

time.

Ode to Incontinence

Hey Diddle Diddle

She can't hold her piddle

too many births made her weak in the middle

When she coughs or has a sneeze

the wee wee trickles past her knees

But she won't stoop to wearing a nappy

So she avoids jokes that make her too happy

Look first my friend and do beware

Before you sit upon her chair

there may be a puddle, there may be a pool

but at least it's a tinkle and not a stool.

Sand and Tutus

Her little hips

have sprung a tutu

now she's bouncing

on the grey sands

of Corsica

and the last of the day's fiery lights

are ablaze in her curls

good evening

it's a pantomime in Corsica

she's the fairy of the shore

conducting waves and broken shells

(the weeks are nameless

the hours flagged by hunger )

in her dreams she'll do the same

and when her sand speckled lashes flutter

she'll emerge to do it all again

Off His Chest

His brows were bushy

his lashes long

his hair was scruffy

his beard was strong

but his chest was smooth

nary a stubble

the cheek of a babe

the skin of a bubble

I wondered what

the reason be

a furry man

such as he

grooms the chest

so thoroughly.

All Things Nice

Nancy bought a vintage dress
it cost her two weeks' pay
She snuck it through the front door
and hid it well away.
Well hubby's always worried
about the careless way
she handles all their savings
now he's prematurely grey.
There was no occasion
no lavish, rich soiree
her life was always work, work, work
and never any play
The frocks in Nancy's closet
never see the light of day
They hang amidst the camphor
their tags still on display.
But despite her busy lifestyle
despite that old cliche,
being dressed up with nowhere to go
was for Nancy, still ok.
She loved her vintage dresses
her style was her forte,
for some it may be art or wine,
antiques or a sporty coupe.

Well what Nancy's trying to tell you

What Nancy wants to say

is that silk and lace and taffeta

are part of a girl's DNA

The Odd Couple

Her brain is Felix

Her body is Oscar

Remnants

Her dolls are getting dusty

her pony with the purple mane

shares a cluttered, sticky drawer

where glitter gathers in the corners

and crayons scatter like roaches

I found a picture of a rainbow

Cats on mats and butterflies

There's an origami frog or two

and several, naked Barbies

that look like ageing porn stars

Black and Blue Girl

BLACK, BLACK,

BLACK.

BLUE, BLUE,

BLUE.

These are the colours

he liked on you.

Most girls your age,

most girls that are two

wear a lot of pink

Not black and blue.