Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Darling

You live in that world
I can read unwritten rules 
I see standards notched high on thresh holds
No one's forcing you to meet
But you've swapped your flats for heels
You chose this life
You lost yourself 
I don't care to stand on tip-toe
Learn to love me despite this
I have

Friday, July 17, 2015

New Again

The tide has finally come in
And now you're drifting away from me
I can barely make you out
Your features fading
And memory takes over
Playing on my mind like a giant screen
With your giant face
In mine
But the tide of time
Will swallow that too
And leave me with little
Of you
There'll be room in my life again
For new things
And old
That will seem new again

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Holding On

It's a rose coloured dawn
But I'm not wearing glasses
All my aspirations are bathed in the same shade of pink
Stripped of detail and desire
The only contrast lies in my disposition
The stark light of glee
The deep shade of despair
A dappled existence
From one hour to the next
My only rose is anticipation
My only certain is reluctance
The carriage that teeters on a crest
Tight-eyed, white-knuckled and swollen-lipped
The ride of my life




Monday, June 15, 2015

Run

There's not a lot
That makes me smile
Anymore
And something's switched off
In the things that use to
Now I have to wonder
Why a walk along the shore
Is just a walk and little more
When once it had the power
To enlighten and inspire
And just lately
I find that your company 
Makes me feel lonelier than I do 
When I'm alone
Don't take it to heart
It's not you
I need to escape
But I've been running all my life
It seems I'm not a place I can run away from

Wounded


You said she isn't wounded
But that's because you are
And only broken people
Can heal one another

Monday, June 1, 2015

Here

A hand caresses my forehead
Gently sweeps the hair from my eyes
I feel love
Warm, eternal
Not a mother's
Something foreign yet still familiar
Something greater

It is I 
My eyes
My gentle smile
I look at me
I forgive 
As I lie
In my arms
And see for the first time
The love I have for me
And I am free

Sunday, May 24, 2015

Uninvited

You arrived 
I was setting the table still
You're here and now I don't know what to do
With you
Dinner's going to be a while
I'm convinced you won't like it
You'll push food to the edge of your plate
My hands are superfluous
My body restless in this chair
Suddenly the notion
I may spill a tear
Begins to terrify
And I recognise 
The pity in your eyes



Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Transformation

I walk through the grey
My rite of passage
You burden me with generous gifts along this path
And though these gifts I did request
I am not prepared to receive them
Or slay the demons that lurk between the old and new 
But I haven't forgotten how
To place my reluctant foot before the other
This I do know
And the new is nearing now

Thursday, May 14, 2015

Feast of Fear

They served up her dreams on a plate
And tied a bib around her neck
But when the fork approached her mouth
She shut it tight
Refusing to bite
Turning away with a scowl
The revelation and the horror
That she preferred to hear her stomach growl

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Kind of Ugly

She may be beautiful
She doesn't know
Don't bother trying to convince her so 
She thinks she's hideous in fact
The kind of hideous that will only turn the ugly heads
With appetites
That will only be satisfied by her brand of beauty
She'll never be the kind of pretty that your kind of ugly 
Is looking for



Thursday, May 7, 2015

The Lightening

I slipped through a gap in the curtain of perception
And saw my reflection there
Then time and pain fell away
The meagre crop of hindsight and anticipation
And now, I have now
Nothing but this now
And my light flickers bright
Once again
Once again
It is me that I see
With eyes like flints of onyx aflame
And nothing
Nothing will ever extinguish this light again



Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Instalife

Roses and cupcakes
And honey-skinned girls in bikinis
All the things you devour 
Between chores in your reality
All that you desire
Is just a dance floor for your index finger
Puppies and fiddle leaf figs
Cerulean skies over turquoise water
Hammocks strung between palm trees
And the perfect shade of a greasy red 
Smears the rim of a vintage cocktail glass
Moments spill into days 
of forgetting where we are 
Cluttered by reminders of who we should be


Thursday, April 30, 2015

Worth Repeating

On her mind
The sticky stains from strangers' gazes
She combs her hair
She remembers their faces
Their eyes tracing the faint suggestion of her beautiful body
As she stood on the train
With the cold, steel pole hard against the bone of her cheek
Rocking and jolting
While the cymbals of a song from someone's headphones
Pulse through the stale air in hypnotic rhythm
And she combs her hair

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Not that Crazy

I'm afraid
I have to say goodbye
I can't be a friend to one 
Who is crazier than I

Monday, April 20, 2015

Heat Seeker

I am coiled
Beneath a thousand furs
I am spread
Across the hottest rock
I am naked
By a cracking bonfire
Lo 
I still shiver
Away from your heart


Friday, April 17, 2015

11.14pm

I'm sipping Sauvignon 
You're snoring on the couch
The days are getting shorter
My hair is getting longer
The cat's back from the vet
Minus three molars
Wish I could sleep so soundly
In the pike position


Sunday, April 12, 2015

Evanescence

Something very sad did happen
To a lively child of five
Too quickly she grew
Turning wild in her youth
Then one April day
When all of twenty-four
She found herself bound, force-fed
With heaped spoons of conformity
Restrained, stored, forgotten
In a tapestry loomed from threads of her waning audacity
Now frayed and worn
My sweet child
I remember you well
You thought stars became daisies in the day
At night you lie beside your window
Gazing at the midnight sky
With wonderous eyes
That knew nothing of tomorrow


Friday, April 10, 2015

We Always Do

I'm watching silly, old music videos
Set in the future
2016
It's a grey day
But the light is stark
And last night's rain clings to blades of zealous grass and clover
It's been a lazy week
My bones have softened 
And my feet have shrunk
I can slip into my size nine boots 
Without the usual battle
They're covered in glitter
They don't leave a trail
I might wear them tonight
If we go somewhere nice
I'll over-dress
I always do 
We'll talk about the kids
We always do
You'll drink wine
I'll purse my lips
You'll notice
You'll shrug your shoulders
Then we'll talk about something else

Monday, April 6, 2015

Butterflies and Birds

There are no butterflies here
Only wretched birds
That dart from perch to perch
In straight lines
Swinging back and forth with a jolt
Once here, now there
Growing weary quickly
Of this view and that
They know not what they want
Never resting for long

But the butterflies
Oh how I miss the butterflies
And how they hover
Above carefully chosen flowers
Descending upon delicate petals
With tender feet
Fluttering in circles delightful
A little here, a little there
Kissing pollen, remembering fondly every flower
Then returning for more

Monday, March 30, 2015

Keeping Stillness

I feel the current of life
Fingering my naked skin
With a rhythmic and tireless tongue
And I see
The unstuck
Glistening in rows of nods that delight
A relentless stream of progression
An unstoppable procession
Of marching ambition
I envy them only
For the sights they do not pause to see
And that, alas, the error that fated me


Sunday, March 29, 2015

Overstayed

I suppose you'd like to hear about
The ghosts of us
And how they've set up house
In the valley of my mind

Would you like to know 
That I can hear them chuckling
As they share a private joke
And how he's always chasing her
Around the garden
When she's trying to hang out the washing

Sometimes I can hear them breathing 
Heavily in my ears
But they make the most noise
When I can't hear a single thing

And it's then
When I wish
They'd spend some time
In your mind





Thursday, March 26, 2015

Warm Chill

Summer's thaw is ending
Your blood clots with the chill
Sloshing through heavy limbs
Cold mornings still surrender to balmy days
Baking smiles 
But they're only being polite
For now
The sun knows it will soon 
Need to make some room
For frosty winds that arrive like unannounced guests
And make no apologies for the inconvenience 
And you'll put away your t-shirts and dresses
There's that blue one with the loose strap that slipped off your golden shoulder
Though you didn't seem to mind
And you remember
How his tender hand reached over
And brushed your warm skin mid-sentence
No you didn't mind 
The chill that time


Monday, March 23, 2015

White Shadows

White Shadows
Fill the empty chairs in waiting rooms
And stand patiently in shopping queues
They lie beside me
In bed when you're not there
And stand behind me in the mirror
When I'm brushing my hair
I see the White Shadows
They wait until you're gone
Then make themselves at home
They always pin me down
But on the sunniest of mornings
When we're smiling over breakfast
They're gone
I expect them when the clouds roll in
I'll roll out the welcome mat
And sure enough they come a-knocking
My pretty White Shadows
Never knock twice


Post You

Subconsciously
I'm burying the body
I had at that time
I'm delicately padding
My bony hips
My empty bosom
I will become
Unrecognisable
To you or I
At last there's no need to handle with care
I'm not that fragile package
Wrapped in a brown paper heart




Friday, March 20, 2015

Saturday Child

Saturday
I am your child
I run along your dappled paths
I detect the tips of lizard tails
Vanishing in brittle foliage
My cat's ears 
Hear the rustles of small life enlarged
And a blind eye is turned
To a scary world
A promised future
In a big girl costume
But the only part of her I want 
Is the sparkle and the colours

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Frame of Mind

I tucked in the sheets with hospital corners
Tucked away the desire to make a mess of it all
I can slip in carefully tonight 
Without disturbing dreams
And barely a crest will rise
As I lie still
And still my mind as it tosses and turns 
My head's a mess
But the bed's a straight jacket
And I close my eyes


Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Chalk

Each day begins with a clean slate
So they say
And I am filled with hope and high expectation
But then I see
When I look closely
Yesterday's scribble
Faint yet still legible
And fresh, white lines
Scribed with careful intent
Cannot conceal
The faded chalk of old memories

Sunday, March 15, 2015

Prickly

I'm losing my fur
And sprouting quills
So sorry
I'm not so soft and cuddly
Anymore
But you can love me from a safe distance
'cause this new look is growing on me

Musings

He's packed up and left
My muse
The sock drawer's empty
There's suddenly more room in the medicine cabinet
And in my head
I can do some rearranging 
In the meantime
And spend lonely hours sighing
And crossing out words
It's quality control

Sunday, March 8, 2015

Silver

Did you see the fronds catching silver dew drops
And weighing down webs at dawn?
Perhaps you missed the silver trickle of the stream
Tickling pebbles and water dragons
Slipping from silver stones?
Silver abounds
Filtering through branches and from my spirit
Pooling in my eye and on my forehead
Emerging from scalps and flaking, scaly shins
Silver begins with waxy newborn skins
And ends beneath our crepey flesh
A silver blue
Our stifled blood
A greyish hue
And beyond what eyes do see
The silver light that waits for me

Sunday, March 1, 2015

Hole

There's a hole
Where my soul should be
Someone stole it from me
I don't know when exactly
Sometimes it feels like
This hole is growing
And I wonder
If my lost soul
Will still fit
Into it


Sunday, February 15, 2015

Never ending

Wine trembles atop my glass
A red dome pegged rim round
So too the nagging madness in my mind
Melancholy picked and fermented 
Swirled about
Inhaled
Spat out
Sweetness savoured 

Mania intoxicating
Hip hoorays of light infuse my vacant veins
And I am lord of word
And doubts become my stepping stones
Up I climb pillars of fear
And so, the toil unending
And hope will surrender 
Long before my wretched bones






Sunday, February 8, 2015

Regret

He has chosen
And so she too
To sail with horizon
Always in view
They've not the gall 
To face the sea
It's calm embrace
It's treachery 
Their ships will bob
On waves subdued
A life curtailed
Love unpursued




Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Prodigal Sun

When I saw the full moon 
Fade with the light
I recall yesterday's sun
As I bid him goodnight 
And now he returns 
I'd no doubt that he could
Probing warm fingers
Through shivering wood


Tuesday, February 3, 2015

The Limits

There that endless horizon
Does it draw near?
Is there a limit to possibilities?
Do ideas run dry?
How high is the sky?
He asks with limited sight
He hesitates
With limited faith
He stumbles and falls
Over obstacles he himself
So carefully laid 
On a path through the clouds

Monday, January 26, 2015

Weightless

She's tossing away that heavy, old hide
That crumpled carcass
Her new self
Soft-bellied, exposed
Metallic green and golds
Shining in the light
She's looking for a new audience
Dedicated fans
Acknowledged
Respected
Not merely admired
No, enough admiration 
It's time to love
To be loved
The weight of it
Slows her down
To an unbearable shuffle
To love
Is to fly 
Nothing will lure her
Back to rocky ground
She flies over blue lagoons
And emerald forests
Yes
This is her heavenly destiny

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Vessels and Vehicles

A silver fog seeps into the black
Like water snaking through a thirsty river bed
Blood red
And the gaping cracks in my soul are quenched
Mouths stretched open
Fighting for a meagre morsel

Life
Going for a ride in a runaway vehicle 
Trapped in a body immobile
The city, the sea 
Wherever its taking me
Not fussy
Though I should be...
Days become nights become years 
I take the wheel 

Vessels and vehicles
Going somewhere 
Going nowhere
It's my where 
Mud or dust
I've no time to admire the landscape
Not lost
Just making up for lost time
My time








Friday, January 16, 2015

The End of The End

She is the hot dust 
Of a bustling highway 
Left to settle on charred eucalypts 

She is the barren vine
Of a muscat grape 
Left to languish at the end of her yield 

She is the vacant web
Of a Golden Orb
Left to battle a lonely war against the winds

Foretold You So


The clairvoyant is telling me things we all want to hear
My mind joins reluctant dots
Coerced to form unlikely connections
But one cannot argue with a well-armed soul
Reckless, relentless
With nothing to lose
Except denial

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Hairy Soup


The faintest trace of garlic lingers from his fingers
Reaching for a stray lock of hair
Falling across my mouth
And I am suddenly deaf to words that spill from his
Until the short of his kitchen capers plays out its final scene
In my mind
And silence falls as he waits for an answer
To what I wonder turning red
And I ask instead what he cooked last night
'Minestrone' he said

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

The Safest Place

She wants to lie in his arms and bury her face in the cave of his warm neck
And have him kiss her forehead like a child
And at that moment, even if this world began to crumble like an old sandcastle 
And every cosy home turned upside down and shaken
So that every remnant, object and evidence of human existence
Was erased from earth's memory
She would not be afraid
No, she would not


Edited


Yesterday's winds
Sweet and warm
Sweep me away to the hours of innocence
Back to the sticks, back to the stones
To crooked smiles
And dripping cones
Sneaky crank calls on summer nights
Healing knees lumpy with mosquito bites
Dusty cheeks turned to mud
Skipping ropes and silly rhymes
Edited


Tomorrow's storms 
Bitter and cold
Sweep us away to the hours of delinquency
To clenched teeth
And dripping coats
Sudden invasions on winter mornings
Brought to our knees after countless warnings
Hairy cheeks turned to blood
Shouting vengeance and silly rhymes
Edited


Friday, January 9, 2015

Forgotten Pleasures Forgotten

I once relied on these things
That promised pleasure
But what of late?
These things remain unchanged
Yet I have not
Where are her buttons and strings?
Where are her trigger things?
The giggles
Those painful belly wiggles?
Now a passive chuckle
Forced, polite
A light tap of the mallet 
No swings, no 'ring-a-ding-dings'
The carnival, silent and still
And somewhere the echo
Faded and faint
The music
Too familiar 





Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Dance of the Heart

My heart is like the sea grass sprouting 
along the dappled ocean bed
The current its desire
Always taking lead
A gentle waltz
A brutal tango
Where secrets find refuge amongst her wavering blades
They cannot remain concealed
Against a relentless force

Friday, January 2, 2015

Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow


Yesterday was but a shuffle
In scruffy, floral slippers 
With old gum on the sole
I want to stamp now 
Stamp on the snow
Stamp on the dust
Stamp on the grass 
And nurture my callouses with quiet pride
The unsightly evidence of an adventure had
Tomorrow is for skipping
Skip away young heart
Skip away


Sunday, December 28, 2014

The Old and the New

She wants to escape the familiar
And accept a stranger's hand
Where he'll lead her blindfolded
To a never-before-seen land

All the morsels sampled there
exotic and obscure
And timid creatures materialise
Drawn by her allure

While all her abandoned senses
Return like the fold at twilight
And bitter memories are hastily snuffed 
Locked, cast away, dead and finite

Alas, this wonder wonder
Will too one day become
A lacklustre mosaic
Well-studied and humdrum





Sunday, December 21, 2014

Out of Reach

The rope
The branch
The proof
His hand
Stability

The wave
The dawn
The sign
His scent
Contentment 

The time
The itch
The word
His surrender
Relief

Friday, December 19, 2014

The Second Death

She is the grey
From the swipe of an oily rag
Across colours
Forced to play
Like stubborn children
Meeting for the first time
And any evidence
Of harmony
Surviving her angry smudge
Will be smothered

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

The View from You

Stay where you lay
Let me take your hands
I want to explore
Your mysterious lands
As I trek your terrain
Refrain your dissent
Guide me instead
As I make my ascent 
I find corners lurking
With secrets hidden
And dreams lying dormant 
With desires forbidden
Your tide is high now
Love, let me dive inside
Let me find dry ground
Your fertile soils
Your highest peaks
Your untapped oils
I shall pursue 
Without relent 
Without eschew
All this I plan
All this I'll do
Until I reach
The view from you



Saturday, December 13, 2014

Surplus

She's hoarding love
In stacks tied up with boot string and shreds of lace
Her tender kisses stored away in boxes
Stacked in cupboards filled with longing
And in the drawers you'll find embraces
That flee like marbles escaping
From velvet pouches loosely drawn